Body Issues

They're part of what being a woman is all about, right?  Today I woke up feeling really bloaty and icky and blase about the day.  I hated my complexion (despite being blemish free), felt like my face was super oily (even after I washed it), and felt like my boobs are ginormo (which they are, but usually I don't feel like they're anchors pulling me to the floor).  You know what I mean?  Those days where, as a woman, you just feel like some kind of urchin of society?  Granted, I hadn't showered yet (huh- still haven't, actually!) and I didn't get some incredible sleep last night (chalk one up to intense leg pain and nightmares from the girlchild), so I guess it would make sense.  But still.  It got me wondering as the day went on (and I felt better), why is it that it's so easy for most women to be completely down on their bodies on any given day?  Is it really human nature, or is it a societal thing?  For me, someone who's always struggled with body image- even when I was a rail thin 125 pounds and 5'8" at 14 years old- I don't think I've ever known what it means to be comfortable in my own skin.  I was recently looking through my high school yearbooks and I ran across a couple full-body shots of me that were taken during choir rehearsals, and I didn't realize how healthy and normal I looked.  I was 150 pounds, had flat, defined abs, and could wear anything I wanted, but for some reason, I remember feeling awkward even then.  And now I find myself wishing that I'd known then what I know now: that I was completely fabulous and had nothing to be self-conscious about in high school.  Or college, for that matter. 

Since my injury, I've been frustrated because I was so used to being able to do hardcore cardio and take weight off really easily.  Now though, I've started tracking caloric intake and doing pilates several times a week for at least 35 minutes a session, and on the days I don't, I find some other way to be as active as my body will let me.  I'm proud to report that I'm up to 90 minutes of walking around at a stretch.  Granted, I have to sit down for at least an hour after being up for 90 minutes, but I'm doing everything I can to push through the pain, both for my own physical well-being and to set a positive example for my highly active children.

Anyway...

I didn't want this to be a woe is me, but if you're a woman and you're reading this, do me a favor.  The next time you feel like crap and you don't like what you see in the mirror, tell yourself that you are beautiful and pick one feature in particular that you really really like.  For me, it's a toss-up between my smile and my eyes.  (My eyes are a pretty cool color if I do say so myself! Thanks Mom!)  Carry that happy feeling when you think of the features you really like about yourself with you throughout the day and let that lift you up.  That's what I did today, and it really turned out to be a great day!  Sure, there were some unpleasant aspects of it (like taking the kids to get lead-tested), but they were champs.  So I figure if they can be such troopers through getting their little fingers pricked and saturating two circles on a paper, then I can be a trooper and think positively about myself, even when I feel like hiding my head in a paper grocery bag and the rest of me in a muumuu.