Catch and Release

If you recognized the title from the Jennifer Garner flick (also starring the yummy Timothy Olyphant), I'm so busted.  If you didn't and I just outed myself, I'm also busted!  But I think it's applicable for today.  I took Rhea to get her hair cut- and for a little girls' time, and it hit me that it seems like just yesterday, she was at Trace's stage, running around the house, babbling, being silly.  (I say this as Mr. Man just emptied the DVD cabinet by pulling a concert booklet out from under the movie stack.  Awesome sauce.)  She told the stylist "I would like side bangs please.  Not straight across my forehead, but side bangs.  To. The. Side.  Thank you!"  And while I sat there cracking up with the stylists and another customer, it hit me just how quickly time has flown.  I can't believe that my first baby is almost 3 1/2 and that she can tell us exactly what she wants, in no uncertain terms, like she's a little adult.  I can't believe that we can put on Justin Bieber (and a handful of other artists, don't worry- she's not just a Belieber!) and she knows all the words and can sing all the notes (pretty much dead on), working her way through CD after CD.  Her sense of humor is hilarious, and her smile lights up a room.  Her giggle is contagious, and she most often lets those laughs loose when we're doing the "Do Together" part of her yoga for kids workout.  She dotes on, polices, and beats on Trace whenever she wants, but always wants to pray with him and she freaks out if she doesn't get to say goodnight.  She is totally her own person, and yes, that does create some struggle for Nathan and me, but I'm so amazed at the little girl she's growing into and excited for the young lady of the future. 
Then I look at Trace and am even more amazed.  I don't remember Rhea doing what he's doing when she was his age.  He is so verbal, and goofy, and he has his own little sense of himself, and his own sense of humor.  I feel like the baby of my babies grew into a toddler way faster than my first baby!  And I know that's normal, because the second baby has an example to follow.  Quite frankly, I'd be concerned, with the level of talking at/to him that Rhea does and with her level of involvement, if he wasn't the little guy he is.  Between the two of them, I'm either laughing or tearing my hair out all through the day.  Let's just say, our house isn't boring!
Even though I look at them with a sense of awe and wonder (I still cannot believe that Nate and I created these two perfections), I also have a heart tinged with sadness.  It's astounding how quickly time is flying by, and I often wonder if I'm absorbing as much from them and of them as I can.  Even though I'm with them all day every day, am I seeing as much of them as I should be?  I feel like time is racing by and I can't possibly catch it all.  Am I saying the right things to Rhea?  Am I doing a good job showing them as much love as they need and as much as I have to give them?  I constantly worry that something is going to happen to me or them and that our time is going to be cut short.  I know, I know... it sounds completely irrational.  But, God forbid that does happen, did I give them the start of a solid foundation for the rest of their lives? 
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we should love and cherish every single second we have with the people we love the most.  I can't imagine my life without Nathan, in the same way life before Rhea feels like a million years ago, in the same way that our family without Trace didn't sparkle as much as it does with him.  Life happens and it happens so fast that I feel like there's never enough time.  There just isn't. 
Nathan did a really sweet thing though today, and I feel like our house is taking more and more steps toward feeling like a home.  He hung a bunch of pictures that we had up in our old apartment.  Pictures of him and me when we were dating, pictures of us in college, pictures of Rhea as a newborn until now.  (We have a ton of pictures of Trace that we have to print off so they can join the picture party!)  So, after almost two years living in this house, we're finally starting to live like grown ups!  We have our beautiful memories hanging from the walls (and more keep coming!), we're organizing the rooms (and you can see the floor! *happydance*), and the kids' playroom looks like a playroom, not an abyss.  All it took is a little concentrated time. 
So, coming back to the beginning of this entry, I feel like we have such a brief time, no matter how long life is, to catch the beautiful people we love.  We have such a brief long time to do the incredible things we want to do with those beautiful people... and then we have to release.  We release the youthful times to the past and relegate them to precious memories.  We release the feelings of the past in favor of a peaceful present and future.  We release our amazing children to the big, wide world without being under our roof.  And somewhere in there, we release our hearts and give them to someone else.  Whether that someone is our spousal soulmate, our friend(s) soulmate, our children (who are the carriers of our souls), or just the universe, we are all here to leave our mark.  So take the time and catch the people you love to make your mark.  Time is ticking.